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Peace be on you.
Allah's mercy and blessings.

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Praised be Allah,
Lord of all.

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Peace and blessings upon
the noblest of prophets and messengers.

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Our Prophet Muhammad.

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And upon his family
and companions all.

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We continue by Allah ﷻ's leave
this blessed course.

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Principles of dealing
with family and companions.

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With esteemed Shaykh Prof. Dr.
Sulayman al-Ruhayli (HA).

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May Allah bless him.

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And I remind you, dear brothers
about the questions.

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If anyone has a question,
send it to this number.

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050-768-7773.

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050-768-7773.

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As the Shaykh mentioned, answers
to questions will be before 'Isha adhan.

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Please proceed, esteemed Shaykh.
May Allah bless and reward you.

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Praise be to Allah,
Lord of the worlds.

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And the fullest, most perfect
blessings and peace.

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Upon the one sent as mercy
to all the worlds.

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And upon his family and all
his companions.

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To proceed, we continue the discussion.

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about dealing with family and companions.

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Three principles have already
been mentioned.

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The first is to treat them
for Allah's sake.

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The second is to do what he owes
and ask Allah for what is due him.

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And the third is to treat his
family and companions.

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as he loves to be treated by them,
or even better.

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We now move to the fourth principle,
a great principle in this topic.

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The basis of companionship is
offering kindness.

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And the basis of parting is grace
and recalling the good.

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The basis of companionship is
offering kindness.

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And the basis of parting is grace
and recalling the good.

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Close living is among family,
and companionship among friends.

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Both are built on kindness,
and kindness is giving and refraining.

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We will explain this:
Giving and refraining. As for parting.

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It is based on kindness.

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What comes after separation
is mentioning the good and recalling it.

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And forget the bad
and overlook it.

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We have companionship, separation,
and what comes after separation.

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Companionship means living together:
with family and with friends.

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Companionship is based on
acts of kindness. Separation on kindness.

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And what comes after separation
is based on mentioning the good.

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And forgetting its opposite.

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And remembering the good
and forgetting its opposite.

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We will mention where
each applies.

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Companionship is based on
acts of kindness.

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Acts of kindness can be
tangible or intangible.

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That is, to extend kindness
in tangible ways.

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A tangible thing is what is sensed;
one such form is giving wealth.

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The Prophet ﷺ said:
"This world is only for four people."

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Here, what is meant by "world"
is wealth.

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Because wealth is the support of life;
the support of worldly life.

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"This world is only for four people.

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A servant whom Allah ﷻ provided
with wealth and knowledge.

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so he fears his Lord concerning it
and maintains kinship ties through it.

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and knows that Allah ﷻ has a right
in it. He is in the best rank."

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The hadith was narrated by al-Tirmidhi
and authenticated by al-Albani.

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So this successful person, if Allah ﷻ
gives him wealth, little or much.

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he fears his Lord in acquiring it
and in spending it.

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He takes it only from lawful means
and spends it only in lawful ways.

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And through it maintains kinship ties.

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This is offering kindness with wealth
to relatives.

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And before them come the parents,
the wife, the sons and daughters.

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and knows Allah ﷻ has a right in it.
He is in the best rank.

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The best one given wealth
is the one described in the hadith.

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There are also non-material forms
of offering kindness.

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Such as gentle words and actions,
praise, and commendation.

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Allah ﷻ says.

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"If they strive to make you
associate with Me what you know not."

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"Do not obey them, but keep
them good company in this world."

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Parents lead the family.

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Imam al-Sa'di RH said.

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If your parents strive their utmost
to make you associate with Me.

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in what you know nothing of,
do not obey them.

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Subhan Allah! This is when
they press you toward shirk.

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Then what if they urge you
toward knowledge?

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What if they urge you to be
among those who memorize the Qur'an?

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Among those who learn
Sharia knowledge?

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Among those who learn
beneficial knowledge?

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Keep them company with kindness,
even if they urge you to shirk.

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So what if the opposite is true?

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The shaykh says: Do not think
this is part of kindness to them.

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Because that means obeying them
in shirk and disobedience.

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He said: Allah's right takes precedence
over everyone's right.

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There is no obedience to any creature
in disobeying the Creator. He didn't say:

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If they strive to make you associate
with Me what you know nothing about.

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He didn't say, 'Be undutiful to them.'
Rather: 'Do not obey them' in shirk.

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But as for dutifulness to parents.
Continue in it.

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That is why He said:
"And accompany them in this world kindly."

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Meaning: kind companionship with them.

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But do not follow them in disbelief
and sin.

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Good companionship with parents
holds in every situation.

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Whatever the parents' condition is.

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And Allah ﷻ said: "Live with them"
"honorably." This concerns wives.

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Ibn Kathir RH said.
Make your words kind to them.

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And improve your actions
and appearance as you are able.

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As you would like that from her.

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Then do the same for her.

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As Allah ﷻ said.

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"And women have rights similar
to those over them, fairly."

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Meaning: you like kind words
spoken to you, so speak kindly to her.

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You like her to respect you.
So respect her.

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You like her to adorn herself for you.

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Then adorn yourself for her
in a way that suits you.

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Have a pleasant scent
and a good appearance.

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Dress for her in a way that suits you.

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Ibn Kathir said in his comments
on this verse.

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It was part of the Prophet ﷺ
character.

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that he was excellent in
companionship and always cheerful.

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Examples will come, if Allah wills.

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The Prophet ﷺ used to laugh
and smile.

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in situations where, if one of us
faced them, he would strike and curse.

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But he ﷺ treated others
with kindness.

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He said: He would joke with his family
and be gentle with them.

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and provide for them generously.

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And he would laugh with his wives.
He even raced Aishah.

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The Mother of the Believers (RA).
This was to show her affection.

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He said: His wives would gather nightly
at the home of the wife whose turn it was.

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and eat dinner with them.

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He said: After the Isha prayer,
the Prophet ﷺ would enter his home.

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and chat with his family a little
before going to sleep.

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Thus the Prophet ﷺ kept them
company. End of his statement.

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Wonderful examples will come
of how the Prophet ﷺ treated his wives.

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Included in kind treatment is
refraining from harm and bearing harm.

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that you withhold harm
coming from your side.

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and that you bear harm
from the other side.

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As for one's wife, for example:
keep your harm away from her.

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So she does not hear from you
an offensive word, for example.

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And that you bear her harm.

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As for the rest of the family:
keep your harm away from them.

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And bear the harm
that comes from them.

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As for friends:
keep your harm away from them.

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And bear the harm
that comes from them.

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This is among the finest
and loftiest forms of character.

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If you have a friend.

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whose state has improved
and whose way is upright, spare him harm.

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And bear his harm.

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For a person is weak,
and things may slip from him.

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Part of extending kindness is
to refrain from harm and bear harm.

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Al-Ghazali said.
People commonly say: al-Ghazali.

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People like the lighter form,
and it is al-Ghazali.

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He was an Ash'ari scholar
and was deeply involved in Sufism.

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But he has good statements.

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He said, 'Know that good character
toward her is not just not harming her.'

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Rather, it is bearing harm from her.'

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This is the peak: not only
that you keep your harm from her.

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Rather, that you bear her harm.

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He said, 'And forbearance during her
rashness and anger

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Following the example of the
Messenger of Allah ﷺ.'

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For his wives would answer him back
in speech.

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And one of them would shun him
for a day till night.

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This will come, if Allah wills,
in the examples.

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And the wife of 'Umar RA
answered him back.

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So he said, 'Do you answer me back?'

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This too will come, Allah willing.

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The Muhajir women never
answered their husbands back.

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Then they migrated
to Madinah.

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And the Muhajir women mixed
with the Ansar women.

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The Ansar women used to
answer their husbands back.

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So they took it from them
and learned it from them.

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So 'Umar RA said,
'Do you answer me back?'

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She said, "The wives of the
Messenger of Allah ﷺ answer him back."

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And he is better than you.
Allah willing, we'll discuss it later.

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He said, the Messenger of Allah ﷺ
used to say to Aisha.

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"I know when you're pleased with me,
and when you're angry with me."

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The Prophet ﷺ knew the conditions
of his wives.

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He was attentive to their ways
and manners.

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She said, "I asked,
How do you know that?"

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He said: "When you're pleased with me,
you say, 'No, by Muhammad's Lord.'"

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And when you're angry,
you say, 'No, by Ibrahim's Lord.'"

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She said, "Yes, by Allah,
O Messenger of Allah, I avoid your name.'"

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About Aisha (RA), some reports will
come, if Allah wills, though not this one.

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She loved the Prophet ﷺ very deeply.
And she was jealous of him.

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When the Prophet ﷺ traveled,
he would draw lots among his wives.

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One time, he wanted to take two,
so he drew lots among them.

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The lot fell to Aisha (RA) and Hafsa.

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At night, the Prophet ﷺ would bring
his camel by Aisha's and talk to her.

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So Hafsa (RA) said to Aisha (RA).

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Switch with me, so we can see
what Allah's Messenger ﷺ will do.

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That is: 'Come, I'll ride your camel,
and you ride mine.' So she agreed.

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So Hafsah (RA) rode on Aishah's camel.

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And Aishah (RA) rode on Hafsah's.

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Then the Prophet ﷺ came as usual
by Aishah's camel and found Hafsah.

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He spoke with her, then moved on.
And Aishah (RA) became jealous.

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When she got down from her camel,
she kept putting her foot in the grass.

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She said, 'My Lord, a scorpion
or a snake! Your Messenger-what can I do?'

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Meaning, she was jealous
of the Prophet ﷺ.

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So she could do nothing
to the Messenger of Allah ﷺ.

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So she kept putting her foot
into the grass.

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asking for a snake or a scorpion
to sting her out of jealousy.

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And she said, My Lord,
Your Messenger ﷺ—what can I do?

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So Aisha RA had many incidents
with the Prophet ﷺ that will come up.

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If Allah ﷻ wills.
Then al-Ghazali said.

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Third: to go beyond bearing harm.

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through teasing and joking,
and playful affection.

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Then he mentioned examples
that will come up, if Allah ﷻ wills.

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And the essence of kind companionship
is good companionship.

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Al-Dahhak said about His saying,
“Keeping [her] honorably.”

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He said: Kindness is
to keep good company with her.

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This is the comprehensive saying
on kind companionship.

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And if no room remains
for living together kindly.

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And staying together
becomes impossible.

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then separation should be gracious.

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With no injustice or harm.
Allah ﷻ said.

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“Then keep [her] honorably
or release [her] graciously.”

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Living together in kindness
may become impossible for spouses.

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Each one does what they can,
but it may still prove impossible.

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Allah has His ways in His creation.

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Companionship may become impossible,
and its continuation as well.

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So separation becomes necessary.

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When we say this, it becomes clear
that one does not rush to separation.

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But if it becomes unavoidable,
it must be with kindness.

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There must be no injustice
and no harm in it.

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Allah ﷻ says:
"Retain honorably, or release kindly."

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Ibn Abbas RA said:
"Or release kindly" means: let her go.

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and he does not deprive her
of any of her rights.

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Al-Suddi said:
"Or release with kindness" means kindness.

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He gives her her full due,
without harming or insulting her.

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Then comes the stage after separation.

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And this is extremely important.

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This is based on mentioning
the other's merit before people.

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And forgetting what opposes that.
No person is perfect.

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Every person has some virtue and good
and also has flaws.

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When a person lives with someone,
he sees that person's flaws.

224
00:21:58,376 --> 00:22:05,476
And when he befriends someone,
he sees flaws, knows merit. Then he parts.

225
00:22:06,756 --> 00:22:11,816
Before people,
he mentions only his merit.

226
00:22:14,496 --> 00:22:18,016
And completely forgets his flaws.

227
00:22:23,956 --> 00:22:32,396
In each one's treatment of the other,
each recalls the other's merit.

228
00:22:33,756 --> 00:22:35,756
And overlooks its opposite.

229
00:22:37,076 --> 00:22:42,376
Meaning, brothers: when we speak of
mentioning and forgetting before people.

230
00:22:44,276 --> 00:22:50,496
It means that when a person mentions
one he lived with or accompanied.

231
00:22:50,596 --> 00:22:55,976
he mentions only his virtues
and forgets what goes against them.

232
00:22:58,756 --> 00:23:03,596
And in dealing with him,
he remembers his merit.

233
00:23:07,176 --> 00:23:10,076
And he makes himself forget it,
for it may linger in the heart.

234
00:23:10,836 --> 00:23:14,636
But in dealing with him,
he overlooks the opposite.

235
00:23:21,196 --> 00:23:27,916
Gracious conduct after separation,
the scholars said, has two wings.

236
00:23:29,096 --> 00:23:31,516
A prior grace and a later grace.

237
00:23:33,836 --> 00:23:40,116
As for the former, as we said,
it is to mention and recall the good.

238
00:23:42,436 --> 00:23:46,516
As for the later one,
it is to treat him graciously.

239
00:23:49,176 --> 00:23:53,456
After separation, treat him graciously.

240
00:23:57,296 --> 00:24:00,176
And grace, as will come,
is a rank above justice.

241
00:24:08,056 --> 00:24:13,236
Allah ﷻ said:
"Do not forget graciousness between you."

242
00:24:14,596 --> 00:24:20,676
Ibn Kathir said: "Do not forget
graciousness between you" means kindness.

243
00:24:22,096 --> 00:24:26,246
That means in later dealings.

244
00:24:26,956 --> 00:24:30,436
And remembering kindness in past dealings.

245
00:24:31,836 --> 00:24:36,636
And Shaykh al-Amin al-Shinqiti,
author of Adwa' al-Bayan, said:

246
00:24:36,856 --> 00:24:42,236
"And to forgive is nearer to piety."
"Do not forget graciousness between you."

247
00:24:42,836 --> 00:24:49,126
So look at how this verse urges
noble character.

248
00:24:49,496 --> 00:24:54,256
by commanding pardon and
forbidding forgetfulness of favor.

249
00:24:56,796 --> 00:25:02,036
This also includes what
Ibn Jarir RH said.

250
00:25:03,156 --> 00:25:08,756
Let a man who divorces his wife
before consummation be gracious.

251
00:25:09,736 --> 00:25:13,236
Let him complete her full dowry.

252
00:25:13,976 --> 00:25:17,312
If he had not given her all of it.

253
00:25:17,396 --> 00:25:22,672
And if he had already given her
all that had been assigned to her.

254
00:25:22,756 --> 00:25:30,076
then let him be gracious to her
with what is due to him: half the dowry.

255
00:25:30,656 --> 00:25:37,296
He may be gracious by waiving
that half, though he may reclaim it.

256
00:25:38,136 --> 00:25:43,316
If the man is stingy about that
and insists on reclaiming his half.

257
00:25:43,876 --> 00:25:51,596
then let the divorced woman
graciously return all of it to him.

258
00:25:51,716 --> 00:25:54,416
if she had received it from him.

259
00:25:54,556 --> 00:25:56,596
And if she had not received it.

260
00:25:57,136 --> 00:26:04,516
Then let her waive all of it.
This is one kind of

261
00:26:06,536 --> 00:26:07,936
grace after separation.

262
00:26:10,476 --> 00:26:15,896
Also included is what
al-Shaykh al-Amin RH said.

263
00:26:16,876 --> 00:26:22,172
that there be understanding
between spouses after separation.

264
00:26:22,256 --> 00:26:28,636
in all matters, whether about
breastfeeding or otherwise.

265
00:26:28,776 --> 00:26:33,736
based on kindness,
tolerance, and benevolence.

266
00:26:34,575 --> 00:26:37,916
out of loyalty to the rights
of former companionship.

267
00:26:38,696 --> 00:26:41,696
"And do not forget
graciousness between you."

268
00:26:43,916 --> 00:26:48,396
One form of not forgetting
past goodness is a fine saying.

269
00:26:51,096 --> 00:26:55,896
by one of the imams of our time, RH.

270
00:26:56,856 --> 00:27:02,976
namely, Shaykh Ibn Baz RH,
who said.

271
00:27:04,916 --> 00:27:12,036
about a man who no longer wants
his wife, though he has others.

272
00:27:13,596 --> 00:27:19,036
He said: if it must be so,
and he has no desire for her.

273
00:27:19,836 --> 00:27:26,696
then he lets her choose to bear
what Allah ﷻ makes easy from him.

274
00:27:27,776 --> 00:27:30,496
And if she wishes, she may seek divorce.

275
00:27:31,936 --> 00:27:38,436
Then if she asked for divorce,
he had to divorce or be fair.

276
00:27:39,516 --> 00:27:42,196
Because the question was
about a man.

277
00:27:43,416 --> 00:27:48,946
who stopped being fair to his wives
because, I think, he did not want her.

278
00:27:49,056 --> 00:27:55,072
The question was about the first wife.
So the Shaykh says.

279
00:27:55,156 --> 00:27:59,596
If she asked for divorce,
he had to divorce or be fair.

280
00:28:00,516 --> 00:28:05,156
Rather, he must be fair to both
or grant her request.

281
00:28:05,976 --> 00:28:08,476
Or grant her request for divorce
and divorce her.

282
00:28:09,156 --> 00:28:14,376
And if he divorces her,
he pays her waiting-period support.

283
00:28:15,336 --> 00:28:19,792
And if he divorces her,
he divorces her with one pronouncement.

284
00:28:19,876 --> 00:28:25,036
This is the Sunnah:
to divorce her with one pronouncement.

285
00:28:25,176 --> 00:28:28,356
He does not divorce her with three,
but with one.

286
00:28:29,076 --> 00:28:35,616
He pays her waiting-period support
and acknowledges her virtue.

287
00:28:36,476 --> 00:28:38,736
For Allah ﷻ says.

288
00:28:38,836 --> 00:28:42,032
And do not forget
graciousness between you.

289
00:28:42,116 --> 00:28:46,736
So he should honor her
and look after her.

290
00:28:47,456 --> 00:28:52,736
and console her
with whatever help he can.

291
00:28:53,676 --> 00:28:57,256
This is how virtuous men should be.

292
00:28:57,976 --> 00:29:04,836
men of noble character
and lofty, pure souls.

293
00:29:05,796 --> 00:29:10,636
But he is not obliged
to keep her bound to him.

294
00:29:11,836 --> 00:29:15,256
If he wishes to divorce her,
he may divorce her.

295
00:29:16,056 --> 00:29:20,076
even if she is patient.
The quote is still from Ibn Baz RH.

296
00:29:20,196 --> 00:29:24,756
If she is patient
and does not seek divorce.

297
00:29:25,556 --> 00:29:29,636
hoping he may return to her.
Meaning, he let her choose.

298
00:29:31,616 --> 00:29:33,972
He said: If you wish
to remain as my wife, then stay.

299
00:29:34,056 --> 00:29:39,256
But I will not come to you,
for example, or stay the night.

300
00:29:40,256 --> 00:29:44,116
So she chose to be patient.
The Shaykh said.

301
00:29:47,456 --> 00:29:52,285
If she is patient and does not
seek divorce, hoping he'll return to her.

302
00:29:52,736 --> 00:29:57,292
Or because she has no need of divorce.

303
00:29:57,376 --> 00:30:00,946
since she does not want to marry another.

304
00:30:02,336 --> 00:30:05,476
Then if she is patient, there is no harm.

305
00:30:06,996 --> 00:30:10,576
He should treat her well.

306
00:30:11,376 --> 00:30:14,536
And appreciate her previous standing.

307
00:30:15,156 --> 00:30:20,816
And be generous to her with what Allah
made easy for him, and not forget her.

308
00:30:22,016 --> 00:30:29,844
This is what is prescribed for him.
End quote.

309
00:30:29,928 --> 00:30:33,948
End of the shaykh's statement.
Look how the shaykh treats the issue.

310
00:30:34,988 --> 00:30:41,308
And bases his statement on
graciousness and not forgetting it.

311
00:30:42,228 --> 00:30:49,568
If he no longer wants her at all,
he either divorces her and shows grace.

312
00:30:51,028 --> 00:30:58,048
Or he keeps her, if she chooses
and wants to remain with him.

313
00:30:59,988 --> 00:31:04,604
And follows that with graciousness
and does not forget her.

314
00:31:04,688 --> 00:31:08,028
So the point is what the scholars said.

315
00:31:09,288 --> 00:31:12,978
From this it becomes clear
that, as we said, virtue has two wings.

316
00:31:15,228 --> 00:31:21,228
The pre-separation wing of virtue
is remembered and not forgotten.

317
00:31:22,328 --> 00:31:25,768
It is remembered,
and its opposite is overlooked.

318
00:31:28,388 --> 00:31:31,688
And the post-separation wing
of virtue is in dealings.

319
00:31:34,428 --> 00:31:40,288
There is no doubt that spreading faults
is itself one of the faults.

320
00:31:42,648 --> 00:31:46,728
Spreading faults after separation
is one of the faults.

321
00:31:47,608 --> 00:31:53,024
What you thought should be concealed
in company.

322
00:31:53,108 --> 00:31:59,788
Then conceal it after parting.
Beware; there is a trap of Satan.

323
00:32:02,288 --> 00:32:06,668
After separation he comes and says:
Spread it. Warn the community.

324
00:32:07,988 --> 00:32:10,788
Warn the people. Expose his faults.

325
00:32:11,368 --> 00:32:16,487
My brother, what you thought
should be hidden in company.

326
00:32:17,148 --> 00:32:19,248
Then hide it after parting.

327
00:32:19,788 --> 00:32:23,388
Because sincere advice is required
of you before and after.

328
00:32:24,568 --> 00:32:28,288
If mentioning his faults
was not advice while together.

329
00:32:29,048 --> 00:32:33,248
Then after separation,
mentioning his faults is not advice.

330
00:32:33,868 --> 00:32:38,544
Some people befriend a person
and grow close to him.

331
00:32:38,628 --> 00:32:42,588
And it is well known that a friend
is lenient with his friends.

332
00:32:45,148 --> 00:32:47,148
A person may say what
he does not believe.

333
00:32:49,888 --> 00:32:52,948
He may say it in jest
with his friends.

334
00:32:55,768 --> 00:32:58,868
Sometimes he even speaks
against the ruler.

335
00:33:00,568 --> 00:33:05,288
He does so out of ease with his friends.
His creed, method, and way are not so.

336
00:33:07,948 --> 00:33:12,784
It is neither honorable
nor proper when separation occurs.

337
00:33:12,868 --> 00:33:19,428
that you say, 'In such a gathering,
he said such-and-such to me,' and so on.

338
00:33:20,208 --> 00:33:24,268
things known to come from
friends' laxity, not inner beliefs.

339
00:33:29,368 --> 00:33:31,668
The Prophet Muhammad ﷺ said.

340
00:33:32,308 --> 00:33:38,068
"Among the worst people in Allah's
sight on the Day of Resurrection."

341
00:33:39,048 --> 00:33:46,708
A man is intimate with his wife,
she with him, then he reveals her secret.

342
00:33:48,568 --> 00:33:51,348
Such a man is among the worst
before Allah on Judgment Day.

343
00:33:52,708 --> 00:33:55,348
A man lives with a woman
and comes to know her secrets.

344
00:33:57,668 --> 00:34:03,308
Perhaps she confided her secrets
because she trusted him and felt at ease.

345
00:34:06,548 --> 00:34:09,968
Then he reveals her secret.
The scholars stated.

346
00:34:10,068 --> 00:34:14,888
Whether she is still his wife
or after he leaves her, it is the same.

347
00:34:23,928 --> 00:34:28,388
This hadith is in Muslim.
Another report is also in Muslim.

348
00:34:28,528 --> 00:34:32,864
"Among the greatest trusts with
Allah on Judgment Day."

349
00:34:32,948 --> 00:34:38,167
Meaning: among the greatest trusts
for which His servant is asked that Day.

350
00:34:38,268 --> 00:34:43,024
"One of the greatest trusts with
Allah on Judgment Day is this."

351
00:34:43,108 --> 00:34:45,548
"A man is intimate with his wife."

352
00:34:46,008 --> 00:34:50,587
"And she is intimate with him.
Then he reveals her secret."

353
00:34:53,288 --> 00:34:57,328
Though stated about the man,
this applies equally to women.

354
00:35:01,008 --> 00:35:05,728
Among noble conduct
and obligatory rights is this.

355
00:35:07,648 --> 00:35:09,748
Concealing faults and secrets.

356
00:35:12,028 --> 00:35:16,968
It is narrated of one of the righteous
that he wanted to divorce his wife.

357
00:35:18,548 --> 00:35:22,888
He was asked: Why divorce her?
Why do you want to divorce her?

358
00:35:23,788 --> 00:35:27,528
He said: A wise man does not
expose his wife's privacy.

359
00:35:28,828 --> 00:35:32,688
She is my wife.
Why should I speak about her?

360
00:35:34,268 --> 00:35:41,084
He had not yet divorced her.
Later they asked: Why divorce her?

361
00:35:41,168 --> 00:35:43,668
They had asked before.
This is just people's habit.

362
00:35:45,948 --> 00:35:50,808
Here in Saudi Arabia, it is now
a crime punishable by law.

363
00:35:51,208 --> 00:35:53,428
to ask someone:
What is your salary?

364
00:35:54,628 --> 00:35:57,528
Of course, not just to know
but out of nosiness.

365
00:35:59,708 --> 00:36:04,428
Or ask someone: Why have you not
married yet? Is something wrong?

366
00:36:09,308 --> 00:36:15,688
Or ask someone: Why did you divorce?

367
00:36:16,268 --> 00:36:23,268
Or ask the woman, 'Why did he
divorce you?' The official may file suit.

368
00:36:26,248 --> 00:36:28,708
This is part of the regulation
recently issued here.

369
00:36:29,508 --> 00:36:36,428
This is a good thing,
part of noble character.

370
00:36:36,512 --> 00:36:38,768
Before divorcing her, they asked:
Why divorce her?

371
00:36:38,852 --> 00:36:41,748
He said, 'A wise man does not
violate his wife's privacy.'

372
00:36:41,832 --> 00:36:46,292
When he divorced her, they asked,
'Why did you divorce her?'

373
00:36:47,832 --> 00:36:50,888
Well, she is not your wife now.
Why did you divorce her?

374
00:36:50,972 --> 00:36:57,232
He said, 'Why should I care
about someone else's woman? Not my wife.'

375
00:36:58,152 --> 00:37:01,848
She is so-and-so's daughter now,
and may be so-and-so's wife.

376
00:37:01,932 --> 00:37:07,871
So why should I speak about her?
Such is the wise man.

377
00:37:09,692 --> 00:37:14,332
This is the great rule:
"Do not forget graciousness between you."

378
00:37:15,212 --> 00:37:18,672
Its context is between spouses
at divorce.

379
00:37:21,652 --> 00:37:24,132
As for its meaning, as we said,
it has two pillars.

380
00:37:25,132 --> 00:37:29,812
Do not forget the graciousness
that was. Mention and value it.

381
00:37:31,372 --> 00:37:36,712
And second: do not stop acting
with graciousness after parting.

382
00:37:38,992 --> 00:37:42,452
Though this rule came
in a specific context.

383
00:37:44,152 --> 00:37:46,752
But its intended meaning
is general.

384
00:37:47,812 --> 00:37:51,272
The consideration is by the
generality of its wording.

385
00:37:52,332 --> 00:37:55,732
So it applies to every dealing
between two parties.

386
00:37:56,932 --> 00:38:02,392
And those most deserving of that
are family and friends.

387
00:38:03,792 --> 00:38:11,572
Brothers, let me repeat the principle.
Family and friends: together or apart.

388
00:38:14,612 --> 00:38:17,632
Companionship rests
on kindness.

389
00:38:19,852 --> 00:38:24,272
And the nobler a person is,
the more kindness he shows.

390
00:38:27,512 --> 00:38:32,372
Separation rests on kindness
and remembering past favors.

391
00:38:35,052 --> 00:38:41,332
In companionship, sow kindness.
At separation, part graciously.

392
00:38:41,972 --> 00:38:47,752
After separation, remember
the good and keep recalling it.

393
00:38:49,612 --> 00:38:55,972
Forget its opposite when you speak,
and overlook it in dealings.

394
00:38:57,492 --> 00:39:01,412
How beautiful this principle is.
How beautiful indeed.

395
00:39:01,792 --> 00:39:06,812
But, brothers, acting on it
requires striving.

396
00:39:09,952 --> 00:39:17,352
Nobility too requires
persistence and patience.

397
00:39:17,492 --> 00:39:21,972
You will not be noble
until you are patient.

398
00:39:26,552 --> 00:39:29,352
Many people say
this talk is theoretical.

399
00:39:33,372 --> 00:39:38,312
By Allah, a person can, by Allah's
grace, be one of its people.

400
00:39:40,632 --> 00:39:42,152
Souls are like children.

401
00:39:44,772 --> 00:39:49,292
If you train it in goodness,
it learns and responds.

402
00:39:50,232 --> 00:39:57,552
But if you leave it to desire and Satan,
bad character taints it.

403
00:40:00,112 --> 00:40:04,412
So this principle should be
our motto.

404
00:40:07,332 --> 00:40:14,752
In dealing with family
and friends, so we may become

405
00:40:17,272 --> 00:40:23,012
noble and virtuous people who emulate
Muhammad ﷺ. Maybe we'll stop here.